Pure

This post has taken me quite a few days to write 1) because it is long, but 2) because I want to have a heart of surrender to Christ while writing it.  I want Christ to be glorified in ever word that I type on this page, and have all the glory return to Him.  This is a huge topic that Christ has laid on my heart the past few years and I know that He is going to use it to impact someone who is reading it.  So, here it goes...

Purity.  The topic that everyone loves to hate.  Something that baffles me is that in the public schools we would much rather talk about who is doing what with the other guy, but we are too weak to stand up and talk about staying pure.  From a very young age I was taught about purity, and how God designed us to stay pure until marriage.  At first I found this topic 'awkward', 'weird', and 'uncomfortable' to talk about but over the years, as I have matured in my faith and developed strong relationships with my girl friends, I found purity and marriage the most talked about thing during our casual conversations.

A couple months ago I was thinking and praying how God wants me to use my story of purity to spread the Gospel.  He laid this on my heart; it is common to hear about physical purity and mental purity, the don't-do list, and the don't-think-about list, but I feel that there is four different aspects of purity.  Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual purity are key areas that need to be addressed.  I will briefly touch on each aspect because I could go on for ages about each one.

Physical purity isn't too difficult to figure out.  In 1 Corinthians 6:18 it says "Flee from sexual immorality.  Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body."  God is pretty clear on His expectations for us, as His children, to abstain from sexual immorality.  I have had the opportunity to talk with a number of couples that had stayed pure all the way up to their wedding day.  Never once have I heard that they wished they had done it differently and followed the standard that the world has set for relationships.  Satan is weird.  He tries to make sex seem like the 'normal' thing to do when you are dating someone, or even 'getting to know someone', but he makes sex seem so shameful at the same time.  This only leads to a life of misery and guilt.  God has not called us to that, instead He calls us to a life of purity.  I'm not saying that if you have had sex outside of marriage that you should be damned to hell, what I'm saying that is if you have a choice, make a decision that is going to please Him. You won't regret it.  If you are that person that is feeling guilt due to sexual immorality, I highly encourage you to talk to someone about it.  Find a trusted adult or leader in your church and talk to them.  Hiding your shame and guilt will not make it go away, it will actually cause the opposite to happen.  Keeping all of that built up inside of you can literally destroy you from the inside-out and keep you in bondage for many years.  TALK!

Moving on to mental purity.  In Matthew 5:27-30 it says "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.'  But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away.  For it is better that you lose one of your member that that your whole body be thrown into hell.  And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away.  For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell."  I know this verse is addressing men specifically, but I think women have just as hard of a time with this.  I will admit, I have looked at guys before and thought of things that I should not be thinking about, due to our human nature of sin, it will happen.  This is no justification though.  If one of our eyes causes us to sin, we would be better off to not have it than keep it and continue to sin.  Basically, if there is something in our lives that is causing us to commit sin with the way we think, then we need to get rid of it immediately.  What I take from this verse is that sometimes its a mind problem.  We have been drilled by the secular culture of images and thoughts that are not appropriate according to what the Bible teaches us and it is our job to purge those things from our lives.  

Mental purity and emotional purity kind of go hand-in-hand.  For women especially we have a tendency to connect our thoughts with our emotions. *GUILTY!*  When we start thinking about what that guy said to us, and oh!, the way he looked at me when he said it, we start stitching our heart to theirs.  In Proverbs 4:21-23 it says "Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to one's whole body.  Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."  Guard your heart... There are many times when I wish I would have guarded my heart a little bit more.  This looks different for everyone, whether you don't watch that PG-13 movie because of the sexual element in it, or don't get too connected to that boy who is being nice to you, these types of things can start tying our hearts to something that is empty on the other end.  Usually what ends up happening after we break a heart tie with something, we are left with these little stitch holes that aren't pretty.  The only way that we can mend the heart ties is through the power and the blood of Jesus Christ.

Lastly, spiritual purity.  This is honestly a beautiful Psalm, and I encourage you to read the whole thing, but here is a little snippet of it.  Psalms 51:7-10 "Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.  Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice.  Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.  Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.  Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit."  As Christians we are called by Christ to live a life according to His will and purpose and in order to fulfill those things we must be right with Him.  We have to keep our relationship with Jesus pure and constant.  Like I said earlier, we are human and it is our sinful nature to not do those things, but with the power of the Holy Spirit that resides inside of us when we accept Christ, anything is possible.  Sometimes life can just get hazed with random things and we can lose sight and focus of where we are going in our lives.  This is when we can call out to God and ask Him to create in us a clean heart, and restore purity into our lives.

Confession, I'm not perfect in any of these areas, and I'm not placing that expectation on anyone.  What I am expecting is that when we do realize the mistakes we are making/have made we turn 180* from it an RUN toward the arms of our Savior.  There is powerful, powerful, healing when we get picked up and hugged by our Heavenly Father and there is a purity that can begin to be restored.  I pray that this post has touched your heart in some way and that the Holy Spirit can begin to move in your heart and in your life.  I can't wait for the day when we can all stand in our white gown in front of our groom and say that through the blood of Jesus I am pure.

Confessions,
Chaleigh

Peace in Our Pea-Sized Brain

I know, I know.  It's been a while since I posted last, but what can I say; I'm a college student!  During finals week you find out a lot about yourself and your friends.  How late can I really stay up without dying?  How much coffee can I consume without my body rejecting itself?  How long can I wait to study for that 8am Macro exam?  Ok, so the last one was not something I participated in, but I'm sure there is someone out there that can identify.

What has really helped me get through this past week, dead week, and my first two finals is God's word.  I remembered learning a verse that talked about peace that surpasses all understanding and I wanted to know how I was to get that peace.  In Philippians 4:4-9 it says "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.  Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.  The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.  What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me-- practice these, and the God of peace will be with you."  When we tell God what is on our heart and mind He exchanges our burdens and anxieties with His peace which is light and without burdens.  How great is our God?  When I'm stressing out, and working myself up to the point where I am sick, I can tell God and confine in Him and he will exchange that with peace...  When I'm tired and grumpy because I stayed up too late studying my terms for History, and I share those thoughts and burdens with God, He exchanges that with peace... When I want to cry my eyes out because I'm a girl and I can, and I let God know what's going on, He exchanges that with peace...

Let me tell you, when I hung out with some of my friends last night, which I was getting very anxious over, I let God know about my anxieties and insecurities, and He brought peace to me that I never knew I had.  There was so much peace within my body that I almost thought there was something wrong with me!  Like I was a different person!

I hope this can be a testimony to you that when you are going through a difficult and stressful time, let go and let God.  He will bring you a peace that is surpasses our little pea-sized brains!

Confessions,
Chaleigh

Oh to Have the Faith of a Child

Ahh... If I could sum up my last Sunday at home, I could only do it with a deep sigh.  I cannot find words to explain what I was feeling, what I was thinking, or what was said.  What I do remember though was during my home church service on Sunday morning, we had somewhat of an alter call.  Our pastor said "I feel like there are some people who are dealing with hurt.  Emotional and spiritual, specifically, but maybe even some physical.  So I'm going to have some prayer teams come forward and if you want to be prayed for then come on up."  The worship band continued to play for several minutes and a number of people went forward to be prayed over.  Well, out of the corner of my eye I catch this little girl tugging at her mom's jacket wanting to go get prayed for.  Let me give you some background on this girl.  She is about 9 years-old, but has the body structure of about a 7 year-old.  She is so fragile looking to the point that I don't want to go near here in fear of accidentally bumping into her.  This girl has a heart condition that makes her this way.  Because of her heart condition, she has to wear a cast around her entire torso so no serious damage is done.  

So, she was tugging at her mom's sweater to go forward to be prayed for her physical condition...  Can we just take a moment and let that sink in?!  Why is it that a child, so immature in comparison to so many people in my church, has so much faith in God?!  It baffles me that she just stepped out, was bold, and knew that her God has the power to heal.  Uh, to have childlike faith!  In Matthew 18 the disciples were talking with Jesus and asked Him who was the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven and He responded with Matthew 18:2-5 "He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them.  And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.  And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.""  This honestly tears me apart inside.  At times, I feel so dumb because why can't I have faith like that?  Faith to follow my parents around without a question in my mind, faith to hear God's words that are spoken to me and not doubt where they are coming from, faith to step out and lay my life, heck my pride, on the line for the King?  

Confessions,

Chaleigh 

Cue the Christmas Music

I feel so omni-present lately with the blogging, mostly due to me actually being able to relax a little bit and spend some much needed quality time with my family.  I truly am grateful that I have been able to spend some time with them, even though it is only for a week.

What I'm grateful for most is the fact that I do not have to do the dishes while I'm home, I feel like such an honored guest!  Anyways, now that Thanksgiving is completed, and black Friday is over (praise the Lord), as consumers we can put all of our focus and energy on Christmas, because that's what Christmas is about right?  Seeing how many boxes can be stuffed under the tree for whiny and ungrateful children. I'm not saying I'm perfect, because even at my best I whine a lot, which is not something I'm proud of, but I give it darnedest to keep the main thing the main thing during the Christmas season.  Jesus coming to this earth as an innocent and beautiful baby all because God gave us His perfect gift.

As I'm writing this Oh Holy Night is playing on my radio station thus making this seem more poetic than it probably is, but I would like to challenge you, my reader, to keep your focus not on the list of things that you receive, not the exact items you give people, but the heart that you had when you were able to bless a loved one.  I challenge you to focus on the pain and joy that God had while He blessed His people with the perfect gift that would ultimately bring everlasting life.

Confessions,
Chaleigh

Never Skipped a Beat

Well, where to start.  I haven't blogged in a few days because there has been so much hustle and bustle and its not even Christmas yet!  A few weeks ago, I decided it would be a wonderful idea to skip all of my classes on Monday and leave a whole day early for Thanksgiving break, all just to surprise my parents.  Amazingly, it worked out without a hitch and nowhere along the lines did anyone leak the secret.  I was able to get home Monday night around 4:30pm without any problems.  It was such a blessing for me to be able to spend time with my family, even if it was just a few hours different than me leaving at a different time.

This brings me to tonight.  I was able to make plans with two of my best friends since we were all in the area at the same time.  We went to the local Mexican restaurant and I gorged myself on homemade tortilla chips, amazing pork enchiladas, and margarita's... Don't worry, they were so virgin they should have been named Mary.  ;)  It was so nice to be able to be reunited with two of my three close friends from home, and have it feel like we haven't skipped a beat since I left for school.  One of my friends said "that's a sign of a good friendship, when you can pick up where you leave off without it being weird."  I think this is so true, and applicable to our relationships with Christ.  It doesn't matter how many times we go astray, or just 'forget' to have our quiet time with God, we can always go back to Him and pick up right where we left off.  There have been so, so, so many times where I feel as though I have let God down with my personal relationship with Him, but every time that I come back His grace is evermore abounding!  It drowns me like an ocean wave, like the ones that you don't see coming and it just hits you from behind.  Confession, I really feel like I'm being convicted as I'm writing this because I know that my walk with Christ is not as good as it could be, or should be, but I do know that His "grace abounds in deepest waters, [His] sovereign hand will be my guide"(Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) Lyrics).

Confessions,

Chaleigh

"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) Lyrics." HILLSONG UNITED LYRICS. A-Z Lyrics. Web. 26 Nov. 2014.

Highs and Lows of Going to a Christian College

As I was pondering today, I was thinking of how amazing of a place I am able to call my temporary home in Salem, OR.  The fact that I can go to Corban University, where I am surrounded by amazing Christian people, and worship the One True God while getting a solid education baffles me!  God has provided me with so many opportunities that I could never begin to repay.  Some of the perks of going to a Christian school is being able to find people to agree with you, and pray with you about hard decisions that you are having to make, like what food you are going to eat in Aarmark.  Even though there are so many highs that come with going to a Christian University, there are also some lows.  My best friend from home, who is attending Oregon State University, was sharing with me about the opportunity she had to share the gospel with some people in her hall.  She shared with me that there is a girl from Sweden who asked her some hard questions about Christianity, and her faith, and it really tested her thinking.  Mostly because she had to translate her thoughts into something a foreigner could comprehend.  So, one of the lows that comes with coming to a Christian school is not having as many opportunities to minister and share God's light that is shining through you.  Confession, I was pretty jealous when my friend was telling me all of the opportunities that she has had to minister to people on her campus.  I think that even though I do have somewhat of a limitation, I can still put myself into different situations where I am forced to interact with non-Believers and share God's sovereignty with them.  I guess what I am trying to say is that we should not be limited by our circumstances because the instant that we believe that there are those fake walls around our life, that is the same instant that we fall captive to the negative thinking that the devil tries to soil our brains with.

Confessions,
Chaleigh

Weekend Love

What do Christian college students do on the weekend?  Since a picture is worth 1,000 words, here's one to sum it up.  Dutch run, then come back to start on homework, then have one of your amazing friends go to the store and buy junk food.  I'm going to keep this short and sweet today, because that's how my temper is running.  Because this is a blog about my confessions, I'm confessing that I ate 2.5 croissant rolls, a handful of salt and vinegar chips, a half of a package Red Vines, and two Ghirardelli chocolate squares.  All smothered in Nutella spread!  I'm not ashamed of it either!  Praise the Lord that I am an athlete because I would weigh 1,000lbs. by now if I didn't workout.

Confessions,
Chaleigh

The Not-So-Typical Cinderella Story

After having a pretty good conversation with one of my friends, (we might have been talking about boys), we decided to watch a movie instead of doing homework.  While looking at her shelf of DVD's I noticed a series of Cinderella stories.  Without a second thought I grabbed all three of them and said "lets go!"  About 20 minutes into the movie I realized how much of a unrealistic expectation this story can be for some girls.  The expectation that we are to meet our 'prince charming' and fall in love with him while in high school is unrealistic beyond belief.  Heck, at times it feels unrealistic that I will find someone even in college!  But then I thought of Cinderella in a different light.  Because God is our one true King, we are designed to be His princess.  We are in a world where we are constantly being ridiculed and told that we need to act a certain way, or look a certain way, kind of like a world full of ugly step-sisters.  God is our prince charming, and should be the only thing that can captivate our attention and take our hearts.

I know, some of you might be thinking 'what about my future husband?  Shouldn't he be able to captivate our attention and take our heart?'  Essentially this is what needs to happen, we need to be so love-struck by God that the man we were designed to marry should be on about the same level.  He should have loved God so much that he learned how to love woman because of it.  I think of it two different ways.  As women, we should be running a marathon, at full force, toward the heart of God.  The man that is able to keep up with us, pursue us, and ultimately cary us when we become weak, is worth marrying.  The other analogy that I like to use is a triangle.  Put God at the top part of the triangle, you on one corner, and the man on the other corner.  You will only be able to love your spouse through God, and your spouse will only be able to love you through God.

I hope all of this makes sense!

Confessions,
Chaleigh

#TheStruggleIsReal

So today as I walked in late to my Macro Economics class, I already knew that I would not be enjoying my day.  I can tell you right now, its not a smart idea to take Macro at 8am.  Just bad.  As my professor began class I pulled out my computer to take notes, as I usually do, but from the look of the slides, there wasn't anything important going on.  So, what is my first reaction to getting bored in class?  That's right!  My Facebook tab opens right up.  For some reason I felt really compelled by doing this.  Something tugged in the depths of my stomach saying "don't do it."  I wanted to write this and sorta discusses it on here.  I'm not 100% sure why I felt that way, maybe because I'm already failing the class and I should pay better attention.  In Hebrews 13:17 it says "Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account.  Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you."  I think that the context of this verse might have been the reason that I felt the way I did.  Obey and listen to your leaders, because they are looking for your best interest.  I know for a fact that this is not being portrayed in the correct way in our society.  time after time I see children and young adults alike being extremely rude to their elders, and it sickens my stomach.  I don't want to run out to be one of those people.  Ia am going to make it amy commitment for the next week to not get onto Facebook/Instagram while in class.  There is no reason for it and it is extremely rude to my professors.  

Confessions, 
Chaleigh

Plans to Give You a Hope and a Future

Jeremiah 29:10-14  "This is what the Lord says: 'when seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place.  For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you,' declares the Lord, 'and will bring you back from captivity.  I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,' declares the Lord, 'and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.'"

Jeremiah 29:11 has become a very well known verse, especially around the time that you get into your senior year of high school.  Everyone comes up to you and says 'so, where are you going to school and what do you want to do with your life?'  Frankly, you just want to shout from the rooftop 'I DON'T KNOW!!!!!  PROBABLY NOWHERE AND NOTHING IF I HEAR THAT QUESTION ONE MORE TIME!'  I would not be surprised if somewhere down the road I have a friend confront me about my behavior during my senior year of high school, and say '...remember when you did...'  The reason I am telling you all this is to identify with you.  Yes, God says that He knows the plans He has for us, promises to prosper us and not to harm us, but at times we just think God forgets...  How could the God of the universe remember who I am.  There are so many other problems going on in this world, and the lives of others, how could He have time to tell me what college I am supposed to go to?  Confession: He is trying to tell you.  You just aren't listening.  The biggest part of my testimony was when I was able to see the Glory and Goodness of our God.  I told God, open the doors you want open for me, and shut the ones you don't want me to go through.  I needed a simple concise answer from God.  The sermon at youth group that same night was learning to be still... and listen...  I wish I could make an audio of this for you because I would insert a dramatic three second pause (which I'm learning about in my speech class ;) ), but in all seriousness, you really have to learn when to tone-down, pipe-down, quit talking, quit thinking, and listen to God's voice.  I can here you right now 'Chaleigh, I try to listen but I don't know how.'  Well, thank you for being honest.  I didn't know how either.  It was a learning process for me, and I had many struggles along the way.  The biggest ways that God communicates with us is through prayer and through His word, but there are other ways to connect too.  I learned that the biggest way that I make a connection with God is through worship, and fully surrendering my heart to Him through acts of obedience.

You might be wondering why I underlined a part of the verse up at the top, I want to discuss this a little bit too.  As Jeremiah 29:11 becomes so popular, which is a good thing, we have a tendency to forget about the rest of the verse.  To me, this part, verse 12-14, is amazingly important.  "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you..."  It starts off with 'then' this usually means that there is something that you must do after you receive your blessing.  God is blessing us by giving us hope for our future, then... we must call upon His name and pray to Him, then He will listen.  Seek him whole heartedly, then you will find Him.  The word 'then' is killing me today.  Like, seriously guys!  We need to clean our room then we can have a cookie.  Complete your entire work shift then you'll get your paycheck.  These are examples of the order of operation.  Funny thing is, if you notice, we don't have to do anything on the first part.  Let me show you what I mean.

"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."

We do not have to do anything here, all we have to do is follow His command here.

I hope this inspires you as much as it did me.

Confessions,
Chaleigh

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

If I could tell you that taking the stairs up to the gym, from Aagard, is the easiest thing that I have done while at college, I would be lying to you.  If I told you that Aarmark's food was amazing, I would be lying to you.  If I said that all of the homework was a breeze, I would be lying to you.  If I told you that I survived my freshman year without having a 'middle school' crush on a guy, I would be lying to you.

I embarked on my college journey just three short months ago, and boy has it flown by.  At times, my brain cannot fathom how fast it has gone, yet when I look back I remember all of the great memories I have made thus far.  With Thanksgiving break approaching quickly its given me some time to sit back and think upon what God has done in my life as well as the lives around me.  I have been able to hear all of the amazing testimonies of how God paved the way financially for students to come here, or how God had redeemed them from sexual sin, or even how God kept them far away from those temptations!  Praise the Lord for testimonies!  In Revelation 12:11 it says "And they have conquered him [the devil] by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death."  Because of the things that other people have gone through, and the sharing of those stories, we are able to shed light into the darkest places of our lives and overcome the devil.

I would be lying to you if I said that God hasn't done anything significant in my life, but I will save that story for another time.

Confessions,
Chaleigh